True significance of a birthday!
Musings after turning a year older!
It’s a recurring theme every year. Our birthday arrives. The wishes pour in and we feel an overwhelming sense of joy and gratefulness at the end of the day.
Have you ever wondered why birthdays feel so special?
I have a theory for it. I shared it as a Facebook post in 2015, and I am sharing it here once again, two days after turning another year older.
Here is what I think happens.
What’s special about Birthdays
We might not remember most of the days from our lives, but we tend to remember what we were doing on our birthdays, right since childhood.
It brings back memories of people who were a part of our lives, places where we lived, things we used to like and enjoy doing, etc. This trip down memory lane with our birth dates as anchors is a priceless feeling which other regular days of the year don't allow us the luxury to indulge in.
This day also allows us to reflect and be thankful for what we have with us today—be it the people around us or the choices we have made in life.
While we pause and look back at our lives, the wishes that pour in play the most crucial role in bringing about this feeling of thankfulness.
There is a very basic human need that forms the basis for this feeling—our need for TETHERS and VALIDATION.
I am reproducing the following section from my 2013 blogpost ‘Gravity and the Secret Sauce of life’ to explain this feeling better.
Validation
Our entire existence as a human race is based on validation. We look for validation via grades, money, positions, titles, love, marriage—almost everything we do in life is to get validated by someone else.
We tend to validate ourselves by assuming identities, by taking pride in the concept of family, community, school, organisation, religion, city, nation, etc. We derive pleasure and feel validated in rooting for our favourite sports teams, film stars, singers, authors, etc.
In a way, the whole idea and existence of art, literature, sculpture, music, cinema and other forms of expression is nothing but a byproduct of our desire to be validated—directly or indirectly through someone else's expression of beauty and achievement which we accept as our own; to put it simply...
We want to be loved and appreciated for what we do, what we are.
Life would have no meaning otherwise!
Gravity or oxygen alone are not enough for us to survive on earth. If they were, then we wouldn't be fighting or killing each other in the name of regions, religions or beliefs; and things like terrorism, violence and crime would cease to exist.
What we instead need is a secret sauce, a tether, a tether that validates our existence in a positive way. The stronger and healthier it is, the better mankind will do and the better our world will seem.
Whoever said “love makes the world go round” certainly knew a thing or two about life.
I guess you get the gist of what I am trying to say.
Every new birthday wish, knowingly or unknowingly, is a tether and the source of joyful validation for us. It is irreplaceable with anything else in this world!
I also hope you realise the power you have in your hands to make someone else feel alive.
So, next time Facebook sends you a birthday prompt, or when your WhatsApp group is buzzing with birthday wishes for someone—don’t forget to do your part too, and make not just someone’s world but the world in general, feel better!
You have the power. Use it well.
Thanks to everyone who wished me on my birthday; you made my day truly special and I am happy and grateful to have you in my life.
In case you missed wishing me, you know where to find me :)
Cheers!!!
Kartik Dayanand Boddapati